How the Chudley Cannons Catapulted to Victory
by David Brown
Summary: The epic story of how the Chudley Cannons finally won a quiddich match, as told to Hermione Granger by Ronald Weasley in a letter sent during the summer after POA.


Dear Hermione,

I hope you are enjoying your vacation in the south of France. Harry says that there are muggle beaches down there where women go completely starkers. I think he's lying. Don't tell me about them. I don't think I want to know. But watch out for Ginny. She says she's going ask you if you have tin lines, whatever they are. But I've got some really good news. The Chudley Cannons finally won today, and I got to see it. Here's how it happened.

We were all eating breakfast, except for Percy, that twit. He was working on a report for the Ministry, something about cauldron bottoms. It all started when Fred said that Ollie Wood had finally got up the nerve to ask Katie Bell out on a date. He hasn't got hardly any money, because he hadn't yet gotten a job after leaving Hogwarts, so he bought two tickets in the cheap seats for the Cannons' match today against Puddlemere United.

So Harry stood up and said in the most officious voice you've ever heard from him, "Fred, George, I am deeply ashamed of you. How on Earth could you let that ruffian go out on a date with MY Katie Bell?" Ginny socked him one, but we all had a good laugh.

That got everyone to thinking. Fred & George decided that they had to go to the match, just to keep an eye on Katie, for her protection, you know. Soon enough we decided that we would all go to the match. Harry sprung for the tickets. Mum tried to say no, but Cannons' tickets don't go for all that much, and Harry gave her this sob story about how he's never been to any professional sporting match ever and how he really wanted to thank us all for taking him in this summer. Then he took off his glasses and gave mum puppy dog eyes. That never worked for us, but it worked for Harry. So she said yes. George flooed Angelina and, soon enough, she and Alicia and Lee Jordan all decided to come with, and the team agreed to wear their Gryffindor quiddich robes as a sign of solidarity.

So we all went to the game, and found seats right behind Ollie & Katie. They were wearing their quiddich robes too. We had great seats, real close to the Cannons' manager. The stadium wasn't that full. And guess what? McGonagall was there too. She sat down right next to Harry. Even she was in her old Gryffindor quiddich robes. I never knew she had played.

About half an hour into the match, the weirdest thing happened. Neville and his gram were up in the glam box seats, and so was that git Malfoy and his git father. Malfoy's father must of opened his fat git mouth, because the next thing we knew, Neville's gram hexed him and threw him out onto the pitch. He landed right on top the Cannons' keeper and one of their chasers. The ref stopped the game. This wasn't in the rule book. After a few minutes of scratching his head, the ref announced that the Cannons had been Malfoy'd, and he gave the Cannons two penalty throws.

It nearly ended right there. The Cannons' keeper and chaser were out of match. They were both injured, you'd be too if you were ever Malfoy'd, and the Cannons were already down 200 points to nothing. The Cannons never had enough money to pay for reserve players, so the manager was about to concede. I still can't believe what happened next. McGonagall spoke up and said, "Excuse me, Mr. Entwhistle, but you seem to have forgotten your reserve keeper, Mr. Oliver Wood, and your reserve chaser, Miss Katie Bell." The manager turned towards us.

And guess what? McGonagall had transfigured Ollie's and Katie's quiddich robes to Cannons' orange. Nobody even saw her do it. Entwhistle stared at them for a moment, and then said, "What the hell? Wood, Bell, go down to the pitch."

So Ollie's more excited than anyone I've ever seen. Katie was shocked for a moment, but she's a true Gryffindor she is. The other two Cannons' chasers whined that she didn't know the play book. Katie just told them, "Here's the plan. Give me the damn quaffle. That's it. That's the plan. Follow the plan." They didn't follow the plan. They tried to keep the quaffle from Katie, but Ollie was an animal. He didn't let anything get past him, and every time he got his hands on the quaffle, he'd toss it to Katie, and off she'd go. She scored fifty points in nothing flat.

By now McGonagall had transfigured Fred's, George's, Harry's, Alicia's and Angelina's robes to Cannons orange. Another fifteen minutes went by and the Cannons' other two chasers were both knocked out by bludgers. They tried so hard to keep the quaffle from Katie that they weren't paying attention. Entwhistle just threw up his hands and looked back to McGonagall. She calmly told Angelina and Alicia to go on to the pitch. The Goddesses of Gryffindor fell into their routine and started racking up more points. Nobody but us knew what the hell was going on, so Lee Jordan gets up to press box and starts commenting on the game. McGonagall nearly followed him.

You know where this is going. After another hour, the Cannons were up 220 points to 200. They were ahead for the first time in over fifty years! The Puddlemere fans were pissed. The stadium was filling up to capacity. McGonagall even made Entwhistle pull out his beaters and replace them with Fred & George. He just stared at her then did what she told him. I don't think anyone can say no to that woman. Fred & George were great. It's like they always knew where each other was, and they were both always in the right position. They even knocked three of Puddlemere's players out of the game. Dad was chuffed. He says he can't wait to thank Malfoy's git father the next time he sees him at the Ministry.

It looked like the Cannons could really pull this one out. But then their seeker plowed into the pitch. Everyone was silent. McGonagall said nothing. She just stared at Harry. Me, Ginny, Bill & Charlie, Mum & Dad all just stared at Harry. Then Lee says from the press box without anyone asking him to, "Ladies and Gentlemen, now playing forthe Cannons as seeker, reserve seeker HARRY JAMES POTTER!"

Everyone in the stadium stood up except Harry. Everyone stared at Harry. It was dead quiet. Harry was looking down at his feet, but then he got this crazed smile on his face. Harry stood up, and walked past me to Ginny on our left. He brought up his hands and held her by her shoulders. Then the bloody git SNOGGED MY SISTER IN FRONT OF TEN THOUSAND PEOPLE! Ginny even snogged him back! And then Harry said, "Now I'm ready," and calmly walked down to the pitch. The crowd went nutters. Ginny was jumping up and down saying over and over again, "Mum, he kissed me. He really kissed me!" I'd have vomited if I wasn't so excited about the match. Mum was smiling. Dad just sighed. I'm glad you weren't there. He'd of probably kissed you too. I wonder if he would have snogged McGonagall if Ginny weren't there.

The entire Gryffindor team was now playing for the Chudley Cannons. Twenty minutes later, Harry caught the snitch, like he always does,and won the game. Entwhistle wanted all of them to sign contracts on the spot! McGonagall said no, but she said she would talk to Dumbledore. You see, Durmstrang has this seeker, Victor Krum, who plays professionally while going to school. He's even on the Bulgarian national team. So why not Hogwarts?

Ollie got his job. He signed on as the Cannons' first string keeper. After the match, Katie tackled him onto the pitch and told him that this was the best date a girl could have. I don't know about that, but this has to be the best day of my life. Except for Harry. That git. Me and the rest of us now have to spend all summer keeping Harry & Ginny off of one another. Will you help me and Fred & George at Hogwarts next term?

We've been up talking for hours. Fred & George are chuffed. They got paid because of the league rules. They were even paid a bonus of 500 galleons, each, because the team owners promised to pay the players that much when the Cannons finally won. Fred & George said they'd buy me dress robes for Hogwarts this year, and Ginny's getting new everything. No more hand-me-down robes from Percy for her. Fred & George tried to give Dad & Mum their money, but Harry beat them to it. Mum was so giddy over her daughter's horrible and disgusting display of public affection that she didn't even think to refuse.

I hope to see you soon. I'll save you a copy of tomorrow's Prophet. Don't ask me to save you next week's Witch Weekly. It'll probably have a photo of my sister being snogged by that damn git. I'm going to bed. It's three in the morning. Mum just threw us all out of the kitchen, and I'm sleepy.

Ron


End file.
